I focus on this one thing

…I focus on this one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God,

through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

”Why do I keep rehearsing a conversation that has yet to occur with __________?  Because of past events I know at some point they are going to approach me about_________.  So my mind keeps going into defense mode in anticipation of what, according to past experiences, is bound to happen.”

This ever happen to you?   Why is the past so hard to let go with certain people?  Why can’t I just turn my mind off?  I’ve tried to ignore or switch paths to a more positive attitude and refocus on something good about ___________.  Most of the time that works, but my mind is like an unruly child and tries to keep coming back to ‘conversation-rehearsal’ mode.

The past isn’t necessarily bad.  It can become our point of reference for decisions and actions today and in the future.   Our past helps us to determine if something or someone is safe or we need to avoid.  But our past can also imprison our today and future if not dealt with in a healthy manner.

I am by no means a trained counselor, but these things I have learned from experience:

Ø  Don’t run from the past and pretend it didn't happen.  Acknowledge and if possible confront the offense with the one with whom it happened.  Talking about the offense with others (unless seeking guidance) or constantly reminiscing only renews the hurt and allows roots of bitterness to invade not only the heart but mind.

Ø  Realize the past is the past and cannot be changed.  Stop trying to force the offender to change the past.  They may have as much regret about the past as we do, but our reaction to them keeps them in the past as much as us when it comes to our relationship.  The past was never meant to be lived in but to learn from.  If the one who has offended us has changed then start fresh with ‘today’.  What can be changed are today and tomorrow and our action/reaction to those who have hurt us.

The apostle Paul wrote the verses above when talking about his past experiences and not wanting anything to hinder or hold him back from living a life of wholeness.  He knew ‘garbage in produces garbage out’ while living in this life.  The word forget means, to neglect and no longer caring for.

Which equates to stop rehearing and keeping the past alive!

As to how to stop the mind rehearsing:

“And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix (determine, strengthen) your thoughts (mind) on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice (do it 1000 times a day if necessary!) all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing.Then the God of peace will be with you.”

Philippians 4:8-9 (italics added)

Today is a new day, which path will you choose, imprisonment or wholeness?

No Vacancy

Summer time and vacations are upon us.  While we look forward to them, if we don't make plans ahead of time we will be faced with a lot of No Vacancy signs along the roads.

Could this be the imagery we think of when reading Philippians 3:13, “…I focus on one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.  But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.”

You might be thinking, “Where is the No Vacancy in that??”

The purpose of a No Vacancy sign is to let those seeking lodging know there is no room at that particular establishment.  Our past is a guest refusing to accept the No Vacancy sign and keeps coming back looking for a place to stay.

Our memories can become entanglements preventing us from moving out of our past and letting go of unhealthy patterns or behaviors in order to make better decisions for our present and future.

To stay in our past can be strangely comforting.  While we don’t like the end results at least we know what to expect.

Paul tells us in the above passage it isn’t easy but he focuses on “forgetting and looking forward.”  This takes a conscientious effort and determination not to invite and entertain the past but rather celebrate the change that comes from moving out of the past.  Look at change as an unexpected rain shower in the middle of summer, cleansing, refreshing and invigorating.

Once we deny our past a home we must then renew….restore…refurbish…replenish…(get the point?) our minds with new.  How do we do that?

Paul puts it this way, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”(Philippians 4:7) 

To fix our thoughts means to determine and strengthen our thought process and this takes practice.

“Those dominated by the sinful nature (which could be our past and its affects*) think about sinful things (dwelling in our past*), but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.  So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.  But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.  But you are not controlled by your sinful nature.  You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you.  Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.” (Romans 8:5,6,9,12) 

So when Mr. & Mrs. Past want to take up residence in your mind stand firm to the progress you are making.  You are under no obligation to let them in.  Flash the NO VACANCY sign and flex your thought/mind muscle on truth. 

*thoughts added