I focus on this one thing

…I focus on this one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God,

through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

”Why do I keep rehearsing a conversation that has yet to occur with __________?  Because of past events I know at some point they are going to approach me about_________.  So my mind keeps going into defense mode in anticipation of what, according to past experiences, is bound to happen.”

This ever happen to you?   Why is the past so hard to let go with certain people?  Why can’t I just turn my mind off?  I’ve tried to ignore or switch paths to a more positive attitude and refocus on something good about ___________.  Most of the time that works, but my mind is like an unruly child and tries to keep coming back to ‘conversation-rehearsal’ mode.

The past isn’t necessarily bad.  It can become our point of reference for decisions and actions today and in the future.   Our past helps us to determine if something or someone is safe or we need to avoid.  But our past can also imprison our today and future if not dealt with in a healthy manner.

I am by no means a trained counselor, but these things I have learned from experience:

Ø  Don’t run from the past and pretend it didn't happen.  Acknowledge and if possible confront the offense with the one with whom it happened.  Talking about the offense with others (unless seeking guidance) or constantly reminiscing only renews the hurt and allows roots of bitterness to invade not only the heart but mind.

Ø  Realize the past is the past and cannot be changed.  Stop trying to force the offender to change the past.  They may have as much regret about the past as we do, but our reaction to them keeps them in the past as much as us when it comes to our relationship.  The past was never meant to be lived in but to learn from.  If the one who has offended us has changed then start fresh with ‘today’.  What can be changed are today and tomorrow and our action/reaction to those who have hurt us.

The apostle Paul wrote the verses above when talking about his past experiences and not wanting anything to hinder or hold him back from living a life of wholeness.  He knew ‘garbage in produces garbage out’ while living in this life.  The word forget means, to neglect and no longer caring for.

Which equates to stop rehearing and keeping the past alive!

As to how to stop the mind rehearsing:

“And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix (determine, strengthen) your thoughts (mind) on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice (do it 1000 times a day if necessary!) all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing.Then the God of peace will be with you.”

Philippians 4:8-9 (italics added)

Today is a new day, which path will you choose, imprisonment or wholeness?

Who is your standard?

At 15 years of age Tom was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye disease that would eventually steal his sight. Anyone who knew Tom always commented how positive his attitude was even in the face of difficult circumstance. But this was something he never anticipated nor wanted in his life. The floodgate to his emotions flung wide open in those first few days and weeks of receiving this diagnosis; shock, anger, fear, smashed hopes and dreams and anxiety to name a few. He would never be able to fulfill his dream of playing football for a big name team, never be able to drive, never see the face of the one he would hope to marry one day or even the faces of any
children God would bless their marriage with. Would anyone even want him without his sight?

His faith was tested.
Would he be able to live the words he often encouraged others with? Tom was faced with a decision we all face at some point in our lives; how and in what do we measure our value and worth? Is it in a particular physical or mental feature, a talent, a checkbook balance or material items? And what happens if one or more of these are snatched away without warning?

What we use today as a standard to measure our value and worth will either build or eventually destroy us. We must look to a standard that has always remained the same will never change according to fashion, “religious”, financial or political climates around us. We cannot look to Hollywood, a particular Wall Street or Washington, DC to determine our worth or value.

There is only one standard by which we can determine our value. God’s standard revealed in his Word. Nothing is greater than God and He holds himself true to His faithfulness and the validity of his Word. God’s value and worth He places in us is like a thread sewn throughout His word, it is strong and will never break, tear or crumble. The circumstances that come into our lives won’t scare him or change his mind about us.

God’s word says, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change is mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? (Numbers 23:19)
“And he who is the Glory of Israel will not lie, nor will he change his mind, for he is not human that he should change his mind!” (1 Samuel 15:19)

Tom came to realize that God uses difficult circumstances in our lives to refine us not to define us. He was still Tom whether he could see or not.

What about you? In what or whom do you find your value and worth, and is it reliable and unchangeable?