I focus on this one thing

…I focus on this one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God,

through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

”Why do I keep rehearsing a conversation that has yet to occur with __________?  Because of past events I know at some point they are going to approach me about_________.  So my mind keeps going into defense mode in anticipation of what, according to past experiences, is bound to happen.”

This ever happen to you?   Why is the past so hard to let go with certain people?  Why can’t I just turn my mind off?  I’ve tried to ignore or switch paths to a more positive attitude and refocus on something good about ___________.  Most of the time that works, but my mind is like an unruly child and tries to keep coming back to ‘conversation-rehearsal’ mode.

The past isn’t necessarily bad.  It can become our point of reference for decisions and actions today and in the future.   Our past helps us to determine if something or someone is safe or we need to avoid.  But our past can also imprison our today and future if not dealt with in a healthy manner.

I am by no means a trained counselor, but these things I have learned from experience:

Ø  Don’t run from the past and pretend it didn't happen.  Acknowledge and if possible confront the offense with the one with whom it happened.  Talking about the offense with others (unless seeking guidance) or constantly reminiscing only renews the hurt and allows roots of bitterness to invade not only the heart but mind.

Ø  Realize the past is the past and cannot be changed.  Stop trying to force the offender to change the past.  They may have as much regret about the past as we do, but our reaction to them keeps them in the past as much as us when it comes to our relationship.  The past was never meant to be lived in but to learn from.  If the one who has offended us has changed then start fresh with ‘today’.  What can be changed are today and tomorrow and our action/reaction to those who have hurt us.

The apostle Paul wrote the verses above when talking about his past experiences and not wanting anything to hinder or hold him back from living a life of wholeness.  He knew ‘garbage in produces garbage out’ while living in this life.  The word forget means, to neglect and no longer caring for.

Which equates to stop rehearing and keeping the past alive!

As to how to stop the mind rehearsing:

“And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix (determine, strengthen) your thoughts (mind) on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice (do it 1000 times a day if necessary!) all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing.Then the God of peace will be with you.”

Philippians 4:8-9 (italics added)

Today is a new day, which path will you choose, imprisonment or wholeness?