STORY OF A FOOL, A HOT HEAD AND WISDOM 1 Samuel 25:1-38

1 Samuel 25:1-38

Every trial, every circumstance that comes into our lives gives us the unique experience of growth in our maturity or regression.  Our actions and reactions reveal the true character of our hearts.

David was called by God, "a man after my own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), yet David was not perfect.  David wrote the majority of the book of Psalms revealing his heart that was at times elated with praise and joy in God, at times revealed sorrow/depression, and at times revealed anger. David was a real Biblical character willing to be transparent before God and people and reveal qualities that we struggle with today.

In this account of David’s encounter with Nabal we can learn several lessons all the while relating our reactions at times with those of David’s.

I. Anger begets anger… never resolves anything

Every day we hear of crimes that center around anger.  Road rage, domestic abuse, child abuse, violence runs rampant because at the core of the action is anger resulting in a loss of control.

The book of James is a great practical book helping us to live in a world that is full of anger and revenge.  James 4:1-3 “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.”

In our story about David, he had a need and went to the person whom he thought would reciprocate the kindness because he protected his workers and flocks. But instead he was scorned and not appreciated by that person. Instead of walking away, asking and trusting God would provide, he let anger and pride  control his actions.

We all have the choice to give way to anger and the slippery slope it can lead us to or we can do what James says:

James 1:19-22 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters:  you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don't just listen to God's word you must do what it says. Otherwise, you're only fooling yourselves.”

In the midst of a trial or temptation, how we respond will determine whether we grow and mature or if we remain stuck in destructive behaviors.  That's why James also says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

God is more interested in developing our character than keeping us comfortable in our old ways.

II. Wisdom soothes the ANGER beast

Proverbs 14:29 “people with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness”.  It is interesting that Nabal’s name meant “fool” and he apparently lived up to it.

Are you a Nabal when it comes to your responses?  David almost turned a trial into a temptation of murder! He allowed his emotions to lead rather that self-control and trust in the God who proved himself over and over again in David’s life.

The world we live in demands respect (respect is earned by the way we treat others never demanded).  The world we live in seeks revenge and retaliation (1 Peter 2:22-23 says Jesus “did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered.  He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly”). Jesus could have called upon the creative, explosive power of God to destroy his torturers, but he didn’t (Hebrews 5:7-8).  Instead he PRAYED for his torturers while hanging on the cross.  This very example is self control!!

1 Peter 1:13-16 “So think clearly and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”

Thankfully for David, Nabal’s wife Abigail was the only one of the three of them who was thinking clearly and exercised self-control!

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”

If anyone would have benefited from David delivering his angry murder spree on Nabal, it would have been Abigail! From this short account we can only assume the neglect and abuse she encountered at the hands of an angry/selfish/wicked husband.

 But she wasn't just thinking about herself that day.  She saved all the men that worked for and were probably mistreated by a tyrant like Nabal.  Had she not intervened they all would have been dead by the end of the day.

I have a feeling Abigail had to intervene a lot for Nabal during the course of their marriage.  Nabal’s servant must have felt safe going to her knowing that she would listen and respond with wisdom rather than turn him into her husband for snitching.

III. Do all things with integrity

Abigail was a woman of integrity, how do I know this?  She took the blame that belonged to someone else in order to defuse a volatile situation.  She didn't lower herself to Nabal’s standards but rose above them.  She didn't sugar coat the truth about Nabal but implored David to also not lower himself to the standards of a wicked and ill-tempered man.

David responded to her wisdom and his anger was turned to gratitude and thanksgiving.

Wisdom and self control are the foundation for growth, maturity and moving beyond where we are now to a place of freedom and peace EVEN IN THE MIDST OF TRIALS.

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."

Colossians 3:13

We all become frustrated and hurt with our family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and even complete strangers.

It is in those very moments we have the opportunity to live this verse before them.

This doesn’t mean we compromise our values or ignore and pretend problems don’t exist.

It DOES mean checking our hearts and doing what James said (and this wasn't a suggestion!)
"BE quick to listen...slow to speak...slow to get angry"

We can CHOOSE to walk in unforgiveness or choose to walk in forgiveness.

So whom do you want to be want to be today….Nabal, the fool; David, the hot head; or Abigail, the wise and self-controlled?  It is a choice each one of us makes multiple times throughout the day.

Character of the Worshiper

The character of the worshiper will always be molded by the character of what he worships. 

Worship the past or life's challenges and our character will reflect anger, depression, loneliness, regret, hopelessness, etc.  We can't function today by living in the past or by life dictated by challenges or consequences.

As with emotions our circumstances are not the foundation upon which to base our lives or opinion of who God is.  

Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is. I cry out, "My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!” The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!  The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:17-26NLT)

Here are some lessons we can learn from Jeremiah:

1. In the midst of difficulties Jeremiah drew from truth he learned and experienced about God.  Reliance on truth rather than emotions as a result of circumstance will help see us through the difficult times.  Emotions are fickle and will always disappoint us.

2.  God knows our limits...He will never allow more than we can handle but will always be our help if we allow him to be. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

3.  No matter what happens today, there will always be a tomorrow...a fresh start.  I am so very thankful God does not give us 'left-overs' but new mercies, new grace and new hope every morning. 

4.  The best way to handle emotions that would seem to overwhelm us is to hope on him; seek him; and wait quietly for his deliverance. The attitude we take during waiting is just as important as the waiting. Waiting is a discipline that yields great rewards and a promise:  "Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength." (Isaiah 40:31)

Don't hide or run from difficult circumstances, that only prolongs the outcome.  Work through them, don't use them as an excuse to stay where you are.  Sometimes seeking Gods help will come through wise Godly counsel from someone you can trust who will care and walk with you through the difficult times in your life. That person should always direct you to God not away from him nor to themselves for your help. 

Today may we be a worshiper of the God of truth not what others say or what our emotions may try to convince us is truth.  Through our worship may we be molded by his hope, strength, and wisdom.

O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!  

In that day he will be your sure foundation, providing a rich store of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of the Lord will be your treasure. (Isaiah 33:6 NLT)

Wisdom

Wisdom.  We search for it, long for it, would run to the highest mountain for it.  Spend thousands of dollars seeking counsel from others for it.  We also run from it, hide from it and fight to win our way with it.  At times wisdom seems to eludes us or toy with us.

It would seem we resist the very source of wisdom with our searching, wanting to find wisdom on our own terms.  In our quest many voices come at us proclaiming wisdom, some with a hint of wisdom and others trying to show us the path of true wisdom.

So what or Who is the source of true wisdom?

There was once a man who given the opportunity to have anything asked for only one thing…Wisdom.

This man was considered the wisest man to ever live, yet before the end of his life had turned his back on the very Source of wisdom.  At the end of his life he realized the fool he had become and wrote for his sons and future generations to never leave wisdom or forsake her path.  This man was Solomon and he understood the true source of wisdom was God.

Lest I follow the path of a fool by thinking I could write something wiser or better, read…listen…learn from the Source of wisdom.  We will have to take time, quiet our ears and open our heart.  Put aside any preconceived ideas and allow God’s word to teach us. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 

Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.  Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.  Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding.  Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.  Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.   Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God.  For the Lord grants wisdom!  From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.  He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.  He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.  He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him.  Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go.  For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy.  Wise choices will watch over you.  Understanding will keep you safe.”

Proverbs 3:5-7; 2:1-11

To discover where Wisdom came from read Proverbs 8, better yet read ALL of Proverbs…want to be saturated with wisdom read the entire Bible!!

Do we sincerely want God’s wisdom?

Setting boundaries is a popular word phrase to express taking control in a particular area(s) of one’s life.  I agree there are some instances where this is critical for the physical and emotional well being of someone who is being victimized.  But just as boundaries can be a protective measure it can also become an excuse to keep people out or to wield control.

So what do boundaries have to do with wisdom?  I guess it would all depend on what kind of wisdom we are seeking.

We probably all know of situations where boundaries have been drawn because of offenses yet the offenses have not been talked through to any resolution.  Each is waiting for the other to make a move.  Each is a believer in Jesus Christ and wants to live according to God’s way.  Each one claiming they have sought God’s wisdom and feel justified in their decisions before the Lord. 

Yet the chasm grows wider with each passing moment.  Those close to the situation see the affects of the standoff but their concerns are met with charges of interference.

How can this be? Friendships, families and churches are torn apart all waiting for the other person(s) to make the first move.  What and how does praying for God’s wisdom look like in these circumstances?  How can both ends of the spectrum be deemed correct yet destruction loom?

To help answer these questions, let’s look at what James has to say about wisdom.

     If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.  He will not rebuke you for asking.  But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone.

     If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying.  For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.  For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

      But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.  And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 1:5-6;3:13-18NLT)

Ø  If we sincerely want wisdom, ask God…don’t rely on another person for our wisdom.  In the process be ready to possibly receive a different direction not anticipated.  Are we willing to change or even abandon our course to follow God’s wisdom? Do we ‘sincerely’ want God’s wisdom?  

Ø  Wisdom is shown by the way we live our lives, our deeds and depth of humility in which we do those.  Wisdom will only grow in the soil of humility.  Bitterness, jealousy, selfish ambition, boasting and lying are not byproducts of God’s kind of wisdom and need to be weeded (not just surface-cut but deep roots pulled) from our hearts soil in order for wisdom to take root.  Humility is fertilized with purity, mercy, good deeds, sincerity, gentleness, peace and a willingness to yield to others.  This is the environment wisdom grows.  Do we ‘sincerely’ want God’s wisdom?

Ø  Wisdom and peacemaking go hand in hand. To be a peacemaker means actively pursuing peace regardless of whether it is reciprocated.  Our actions and reactions are the only ones we have control over.  This peace, in the Greek, is the same Paul talks about in Galatians 5 as part of the fruit of the Spirit.  Do we ‘sincerely’ want God’s wisdom?

Ø  Wisdom and willingness to yield to others, no matter who is right, go hand in hand.   Being willing to yield to another in some translation is “being reasonable.”  Perhaps this is in our yielding to the other person or in our expectations of that other person.  Do we ‘sincerely’ want God’s wisdom?

Each bullet point ends with a deliberate question:  Do we ‘sincerely’ want God’s wisdom.  If we do, we will no doubt be the one to change course, to abandon our right (real or perceived) for the good of wisdom to be shown, to re-evaluate certain boundaries and for healing to begin even if it is in our hearts alone.

Solid foundation

“Honey you just got the rug pulled out from underneath you.” As a little girl I used to think this was a rather strange saying. How could someone pull a rug out from underneath me while I was standing on it?

As I grew up and lived life I realized the meaning of this saying: the unexpected will come into our lives and unless our footing is secure the very foundation we stand upon will be pulled out from underneath us and usually without warning.

When Jesus asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” could Jesus have been saying the same thing? Peter’s answer, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:13-20) Peter was declaring the very foundation he would be standing on from that day forward. At times, he didn’t understand it, maybe didn’t always live it, but the foundation was being built with every word, every experience, everything he witnessed walking alongside Jesus.

Verse 21 says, “From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for him to go to Jerusalem and suffer many terrible things...” Jesus couldn’t tell them the horrendous things he was about to experience until they had discovered for themselves the foundation they would not only stand upon but lay their very lives down for. That foundation was and is today solid and unwavering; nothing can destroy or change it.

The same question begs an answer from us today. Who do we say the Son of Man is? Our answer becomes the foundation upon which we stand during good times and what supports and keeps us from falling during rough times. Any foundation that is not solid, not built upon the truth of who Jesus is, will collapse at the first tremor. There is no storm the truth of God cannot weather yet remain solid through.

Paul gave witness to this foundation. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
(2Cor 4:7-9) Isaiah said, “In that day he will be your sure foundation, providing a rich store of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of the LORD will be your treasure.” (Isaiah 33:6)
These are truths we can stand upon.

So, who do you say the Son of Man is? Who or what is the foundation you stand upon and is it safe?

Wisdom or arrogance?

“Kay, you blew it! Why did you feel the need to expound on a truthful but simple statement? Would have been fine to just let the statement stand and work on its message. My ‘so called wisdom’ was not needed!!”

This was the conversation I had with myself yesterday when leaving a local clinic where I volunteer. Was I trying to impress my client or was it truly the Holy Spirit working through me to reach this young lady? Valid question. While I believe the Lord can speak through us we must learn to distinguish between the two. One brings life the other sucks life.

Pride if not dealt with will always falsely draw others to us rather than releasing them to the One who is true wisdom.

Genesis 3:6 is one of the first references to wisdom in the bible. “She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her.” Eve tasted the forbidden fruit, offered it to her husband and false wisdom drew them not closer but away from the Source of wisdom and ever since we have been struggling to submit our wisdom and pride to God’s wisdom. God’s wisdom is always available to us but we cannot rob God of something before he is ready to give it.
True wisdom is born through humility, while pride is born through false humility that puffs us up in arrogance, conceit and smugness.

Pride leads to disgrace and humiliation while humility brings honor and wisdom (Proverbs 11:2; 29:23).

The Apostle Paul said, “In him (Jesus) lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I am telling you this so no one will deceive you with well-crafted arguments (prideful words?).” Col 2:4

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom
For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition (pride), there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.”
James 1:5;3:13,16-18

When I truly examine my heart and motives in light of the scriptures, then my mouth and actions must also be aligned with the true Source of wisdom.

“Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips.
Don’t let me drift toward evil or take part in acts of wickedness.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
(Psalm 141:3-4; 139:23)