sorrow=repentance=change

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight...Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. (Psalms 51:1-13, 17 NLT)

I love the transparency of David!  At some point in the Psalms David displays everyone emotion known to man.  He struggled with the same sins and temptations we struggle with today, those Paul described in Galatians 5:19-23.

David also knew the key to not living, not remaining or making this sin his lifestyle by choice, was being open and transparent before God and others; recognizing that at the very core of our sinful nature is rebellion against God; and not remaining in the guilt of the past.  The above Psalm was penned after his adultery with Bathsheba and subsequent murder of her husband to hide the sin.  

Hidden sin will always remain a stumbling block to any recovery and restoration.  Sharing how God has worked through it is critical to our freedom.  Too often we fall short of this freedom because of fear from what others might think or do.  Sometimes freedom comes from the hand of confrontation.

Being remorseful (sorrow) is the doorway leading to repentance, never the end result.  Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10

"...the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have...For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death."

Acknowledgment of sin = sorrow = repentance = change.  Sorrow is not repentance.  Sorrow is a feeling; repentance is an action which results in change.  David experienced and lived this process.  Was he perfect?  No, his sin brought consequences to his household for generations to come.  But because he choose true repentance over just sorrow God called him "a man after my own heart." 

Where was God?

We will not soon forget the horrific events of December 14, 2012.  What started out as a typical day ended anything but typical for the residents of Newton, CT and the world.   I have no personal connection to any of the families who have been ripped apart nor can I even begin to imagine the depth of their grief.  I only know my heart and throat felt like someone was strangling me as I went to bed that night.  My grief became my enemy when trying to breathe and my mind raced trying to make sense of how anyone could do this horrible act against innocent children and those who tried to protect them.

Earlier that evening this question was posed, “Where was God?”  Even Jesus voiced this question of his father, God.   I’ve thought a lot about that question today.  I didn’t know what to say.  How would you have answered?  If you were one of those parents, would you have wanted a pat cliché answer?   Is there an answer?

Theological reasoning’s to this question have been explored and debated for centuries.  This debate does not however mean God was absent. 

I do know this; God was in the same place when his son was murdered.  He knows what it is to grieve over a loved one.  To give and love and be denied those in return.  He finds no pleasure in witnessing the indescribable acts his creation does to one another.  Nor does he find pleasure in letting go of someone who chooses to reject him.[i]  He has long been denied a place in our lives except when it is beneficial to us.  Nor, as has been suggested, did the gate for these indescribable acts swing open the day prayer was taken out of school.  The groundwork was laid long before then and has been built upon as our tolerance to truth and violence weakens. 

It strikes me no one is questioning the ‘where and why’ of evil (aka Satan) that day?  Satan is not a harmless once-a-year-Halloween-appearance person wearing a red suit with horns and a pitchfork.  He is a force who knows his time is limited and will steal, kill, and destroy anything or anyone who stands in his way including innocent children. [ii]  

Everything in life is not a clear black and white issue nor are the answers to life’s difficult questions.  Gun control is not be the solution in preventing these types of horrendous acts because morality and values cannot be legislated.  Those bent on destruction will find a avenue to accomplish it.

Being a child of God does not relieve us of pain.  We live in a world in which our actions affect others, good and bad.  But these are truths we can hold onto when everything else, including God, doesn’t make sense:

·         God is still God and there is no other equal to him or above him.  We can trust him even though we don’t understand.  Isaiah 40; 2 Peter 3:9; Isaiah 55:8-9

·         He hasn’t abandoned you or me:  “No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.”  John 14:18; 2 Chronicles 16:9

·         We can have His peace in the midst of pain:  “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don’t be troubled or afraid…I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world. (John 14:27; John 16:33)

Where was God that day?  Grieving alongside those whose hearts were ripped out.  Holding and giving them his strength to continue until he takes us to a home where there will be no more sorry, pain or hurt…ever again.

---

[i] Ezekiel 33:11

[ii] 2 Corinthians 11:14-15; John 10:10