Facing Envy and Bitterness

“Truly God is good to Israel, to those whose hearts are pure.

But as for me, I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.

For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They seem to live such painless lives; their bodies are so healthy and strong. They don’t have troubles like other people; they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else. They wear pride like a jeweled necklace and clothe themselves with cruelty. These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for! They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others. They boast against the very heavens, and their words strut throughout the earth.

And so the people are dismayed and confused, drinking in all their words.

“What does God know?” they ask. “Does the Most High even know what’s happening?” Look at these wicked people— enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.

Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason? I get nothing but trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain. If I had really spoken this way to others, I would have been a traitor to your people.

So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.

But what a difficult task it is!

Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked. Truly, you put them on a slippery path and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction. In an instant they are destroyed, completely swept away by terrors. When you arise, O Lord, you will laugh at their silly ideas as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.

Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.

Yet:

I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭73:1-28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The problem with envy is we don’t really see into the heart of those we envy. Into the dark of the night when no one else is around them, when the parties are over and they are alone. We don’t hear their thoughts or see their fears or anxieties. We don’t experience the energy it takes to keep the story going or the fear of losing control. The fear of “losing the good life” that motivates to always be searching for the next dollar or the next “better-than-anyone-else.”

As with the author of this Psalm, we too can almost lose our footing. We too can question the presence, care, love, and the protection of God. “They don’t love or serve God! Why are they prospering...in perfect health and I’m not?” “Why have I given up everything and have nothing in return?”

Easy to do when our focus is on the “here and now”,  when we try to reason what is beyond our reasoning and comprehension. It’s exhausting and can lead us into the entangled path of bitterness.

Psalm 69 tells us:

• Those who trust in their wealth and boast in their great riches cannot pay a ransom to God for his life.
• The wise, foolish and senseless all perish alike and leave their wealth to others.
• Their forms will decay in the grave, but God will redeem my life from the grave.  (Psalm 49:8-9) Redemption does not come so easily, for no one can ever pay enough to live forever and not see the grave.
• Don’t be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases, for he will take nothing with him when he dies. Their wealth will not follow them into the grave. Death has no use for money or possessions!
• He will never see the “light of life”.

When we finally surrender and turn our thoughts, attention, and hearts back to the safety and peace of God’s sanctuary the lenses we are looking through change.

When we take our eyes off man and back to God...when we allow Him to search our hearts He will reveal the root of our struggles. Bitterness is it’s ugly name.

We remember we are only passing through this world. God has given us pleasures in this world to enjoy but not to define us. This is only our temporary residence and as beautiful or alluring it’s temptations are, it is nothing compared to what He has prepared for us in eternity!

May we say as David, “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered – how fleeting my life is. And so, Lord where do I put my hope? My only hope is you.” Psalm 39:4,7

At the end of the day I stand on the promises that are back by his name (Psalm 138:2):

“I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”