STORY OF A FOOL, A HOT HEAD AND WISDOM 1 Samuel 25:1-38

1 Samuel 25:1-38

Every trial, every circumstance that comes into our lives gives us the unique experience of growth in our maturity or regression.  Our actions and reactions reveal the true character of our hearts.

David was called by God, "a man after my own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), yet David was not perfect.  David wrote the majority of the book of Psalms revealing his heart that was at times elated with praise and joy in God, at times revealed sorrow/depression, and at times revealed anger. David was a real Biblical character willing to be transparent before God and people and reveal qualities that we struggle with today.

In this account of David’s encounter with Nabal we can learn several lessons all the while relating our reactions at times with those of David’s.

I. Anger begets anger… never resolves anything

Every day we hear of crimes that center around anger.  Road rage, domestic abuse, child abuse, violence runs rampant because at the core of the action is anger resulting in a loss of control.

The book of James is a great practical book helping us to live in a world that is full of anger and revenge.  James 4:1-3 “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.”

In our story about David, he had a need and went to the person whom he thought would reciprocate the kindness because he protected his workers and flocks. But instead he was scorned and not appreciated by that person. Instead of walking away, asking and trusting God would provide, he let anger and pride  control his actions.

We all have the choice to give way to anger and the slippery slope it can lead us to or we can do what James says:

James 1:19-22 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters:  you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don't just listen to God's word you must do what it says. Otherwise, you're only fooling yourselves.”

In the midst of a trial or temptation, how we respond will determine whether we grow and mature or if we remain stuck in destructive behaviors.  That's why James also says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

God is more interested in developing our character than keeping us comfortable in our old ways.

II. Wisdom soothes the ANGER beast

Proverbs 14:29 “people with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness”.  It is interesting that Nabal’s name meant “fool” and he apparently lived up to it.

Are you a Nabal when it comes to your responses?  David almost turned a trial into a temptation of murder! He allowed his emotions to lead rather that self-control and trust in the God who proved himself over and over again in David’s life.

The world we live in demands respect (respect is earned by the way we treat others never demanded).  The world we live in seeks revenge and retaliation (1 Peter 2:22-23 says Jesus “did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered.  He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly”). Jesus could have called upon the creative, explosive power of God to destroy his torturers, but he didn’t (Hebrews 5:7-8).  Instead he PRAYED for his torturers while hanging on the cross.  This very example is self control!!

1 Peter 1:13-16 “So think clearly and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”

Thankfully for David, Nabal’s wife Abigail was the only one of the three of them who was thinking clearly and exercised self-control!

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”

If anyone would have benefited from David delivering his angry murder spree on Nabal, it would have been Abigail! From this short account we can only assume the neglect and abuse she encountered at the hands of an angry/selfish/wicked husband.

 But she wasn't just thinking about herself that day.  She saved all the men that worked for and were probably mistreated by a tyrant like Nabal.  Had she not intervened they all would have been dead by the end of the day.

I have a feeling Abigail had to intervene a lot for Nabal during the course of their marriage.  Nabal’s servant must have felt safe going to her knowing that she would listen and respond with wisdom rather than turn him into her husband for snitching.

III. Do all things with integrity

Abigail was a woman of integrity, how do I know this?  She took the blame that belonged to someone else in order to defuse a volatile situation.  She didn't lower herself to Nabal’s standards but rose above them.  She didn't sugar coat the truth about Nabal but implored David to also not lower himself to the standards of a wicked and ill-tempered man.

David responded to her wisdom and his anger was turned to gratitude and thanksgiving.

Wisdom and self control are the foundation for growth, maturity and moving beyond where we are now to a place of freedom and peace EVEN IN THE MIDST OF TRIALS.

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."

Colossians 3:13

We all become frustrated and hurt with our family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and even complete strangers.

It is in those very moments we have the opportunity to live this verse before them.

This doesn’t mean we compromise our values or ignore and pretend problems don’t exist.

It DOES mean checking our hearts and doing what James said (and this wasn't a suggestion!)
"BE quick to listen...slow to speak...slow to get angry"

We can CHOOSE to walk in unforgiveness or choose to walk in forgiveness.

So whom do you want to be want to be today….Nabal, the fool; David, the hot head; or Abigail, the wise and self-controlled?  It is a choice each one of us makes multiple times throughout the day.